Regret
by shana
Summary: I had this up before but it was deleted. It's a dark Harry fic. A different style than my usual perky American teenage girl style. *grins* It's sad. Please r/r. Sorry about this guys!
1. Regret: Hermione's POV

A/N: I don't know why I wrote this but I was in a kinda dark mood. Then I kinda liked it. Thank *~A White Rose Petal~* cuz she gave the last review needed between all of my stories to post my next one. It has to be typed -that's all! My first ever songfic. I hope you enjoy! Happy reading!  
  
Sorry I never told you  
All I wanted to say  
Now it's too late to hold you  
'Cause you've flown away  
So far away  
  
I don't know why it happened. It just did. He was taken. They broke him. Voldemort, the son of a bitch broke him. Fed him lies and ruined him. Or maybe it was I who broke him. Maybe it was my fault.   
  
Never had I imagined  
Living without your smile  
Feeling and knowing you hear me  
It keeps me alive  
Alive  
  
He wasn't Harry. It was the shell of Harry. He wasn't there. I couldn't even say his name. He became worse. Worse than Voldemort. He changed. He was broken. He wasn't Harry, he was the shell of Harry.  
  
And I know you're shining down on me from heaven  
Like so many friends we've lost along the way  
And I know eventually we'll be together  
One sweet day  
  
I considered killing myself when it had first happened. I couldn't bear life. If someone that good could go that bad than life wasn't worth living. Harry was gone. I couldn't trust anyone. I couldn't leave the house. But then it changed.   
  
  
And I know you're shining down on me from heaven  
Like so many friends we've lost along the way  
And I know eventually we'll be together  
One sweet day  
  
I decided I would fight him. I would defeat the shell that existed and bring the carefree, loving Harry back. Bring Harry back. I couldn't say his name. Maybe it was my fault.  
  
Darling I never showed you  
Assumed you'd always be there  
Took your presence for granted  
But I always cared  
And I miss the love we shared  
  
When he told me he loved me and I didn't respond. He had left that day and never came back. He came back as someone else. Someone else who took his body, his name. It wasn't Harry. It was the shell of Harry.  
  
And I know you're shining down on me from heaven  
Like so many friends we've lost along the way  
And I know eventually we'll be together  
One sweet day  
  
I wasn't there for him. Maybe it was my fault. If I could of… But I didn't. And now, I'm here, wishing it was different. Wishing I had Harry. Not the shell of Harry.   
  
Although the sun will shine the same  
I'll always look to a brighter day  
Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep  
You will always listen as I pray  
  
  
  
A/N: Sad and depressing, I know. I was in one of those moods. Please review. Maybe it wasn't the best song for it but it is one of my favorites so I used it.   



	2. Regret2: Harry's POV

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns characters. My Baby You is owned by Marc Anthoy.  
  
  
as i look into your eyes   
i see all the reasons why   
my life's worth a thousand skies   
you're the simplest love i've known   
and the purest one i'll own   
know you'll never be alone   
  
I wanted to stay, I really did but I couldn't. When she didn't respond it all went spiraling down until it crashed. Me along with it. I loved her but she didn't love me back. And life wasn't worth living after that  
  
my baby you   
are the reason i could fly   
and 'cause of you   
i don't have to wonder why   
baby you   
there's no more just getting by   
you're the reason i feel so alive   
  
They say it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all but I can't understand that when all I feel is pain. All I ever wanted was to be loved. I have no parents and the girl I love has deserted me. And now all I want now is to make others feel the same pain as I. They too, can lose.  
  
though these words i say are true   
they still fail to capture you   
as mere words can only do   
how do i explain that smile   
and how it turns my world around   
keeping my feet on the ground   
  
He took me but there was no way I was going to fight back anyway. I didn't want to. It was to hard. Life just wasn't worth living. And now it's bad for others. I have lost and now they too, can share my pain.  
  
my baby you   
are the reason i could fly   
and 'cause of you   
i don't have to wonder why   
baby you   
there's no more just getting by   
you're the reason i feel so alive   
  
I like to think she still loves me but there are times when I don't even love myself. Days where the only think I want is to be held- by her. But she's gone. She doesn't love me.   
  
I will soothe you if you fall   
i'll be right there if you call   
you're my greatest love of all   
  
I'm not there for her. I never will be again. I have lost. I hope she doesn't think it's her fault I turned. There are days when I could kill myself. Get out of my uncontrollable misery. I wish she knew that I'm such a mess without her. I need her.   
  
my baby you   
are the reason i could fly   
and 'cause of you   
i don't have to wonder why   
baby you   
there's no more just getting by   
you're the reason i feel so alive   
  
I miss you. Please come back. You're all I need. Tell me you love me. Hold me. And I will stop. This will end. I will come back. I love you. I need you. I need you to need me. And then I will be back.  
  
  
  
A/N: Please review. I hoped you liked it. I think it pairs well with #1. My other series, AH, is moving very slowly. I haven't had a ton of time! Sorry!  



	3. Regret3: Wishing

D: Mariah Carey owns this song, Whenever you Call. This is one of my faves, EVER!! The first time I heard this I started crying, that's how beautiful it is. JK Rowling owns characters.   
  
A/N: Switches POV back and forth. Starts with Harry (duh) then Hermione, Harry again, Hermione-you get the idea.  
  
  
Regret3: Wishing  
  
I missed her. I really did. And I'll I wanted in the world was her. Her to be back. Her to feel the same way as I.   
  
Love wandered inside  
Stronger than you  
Stronger than I  
And now that it has begun  
We cannot turn back  
We can only turn into one  
  
I missed him. I couldn't believe it was the same guy. He wasn't the same guy. I want him back. To change, to be the old, smiling, carefree Harry. That's all I want. Ever again.   
  
I won't ever be too far away to feel you  
And I won't hesitate at all  
Whenever you call  
And I'll always remember  
The part of you so tender  
I'll be the one to catch your fall  
Whenever you call  
  
She left me. And now all I want is she. It's making me crazy. All I want is to hold her. Tell her everything wrong will be right. And that I'll be okay. To have her back. That's all I want.  
  
And I'm truly inspired  
Finding my soul  
There in your eyes  
And you  
Have opened my heart  
And lifted me inside  
By showing me yourself  
Undisguised  
  
I wish I could hold him. Tell him I'm sorry. Sorry about that night. Tell him how I miss him. How I love him. I need him. I need Harold James Potter back. My Harold James Potter.  
  
I won't ever be too far away to feel you  
And I won't hesitate at all  
Whenever you call  
And I'll always remember  
The part of you so tender  
I'll be the one to catch your fall  
Whenever you call  
  
Please come back. Come hold me. Tell me to stop. I will. For you I will. I promise. Tell me you love me. Hold me. Do as my mother would have. Hold me, tell me it will all be alright. I don't want to do this anymore. I just need you back and it will all stop.  
  
And I will breathe for you each day  
Comfort you through all the pain  
Gently kiss your fears away  
You can turn to me and cry  
Always understand that I  
Give you all I am inside  
  
Hold me and promise me you'll stop. I love you. I couldn't say it before. I was to scared. But I'll do it now. I'll find you. Ask for you back. I miss you. I love you.  



	4. Regret4: Meeting

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns characters. Diane Warren (not Christina, All 4 One did it too) owns the song. I love this song!!  
A/N: Same as the other one, switches POV, Harry, Hermione, Harry, Hermione, ect.  
  
Regret4: Meeting Again  
  
  
When I'm lost in the rain,   
In your eyes I know  
I'll find the light to light my way  
And when I'm scared, losing ground  
When my world is going crazy   
You can turn it all around and when I'm down you're there  
Pushing me to the top  
You're always there, giving me all you've got  
  
I saw the tears in her eyes when she walked in. I didn't know how she got in but somehow she did. She walked in without her usual beauty and grace but like a scared child. It broke my heart. But I didn't blame her for being scared. She thought I was going to kill her. In fact, I might have. I just might have.  
  
For a shield from the storm  
For a friend  
For a love to keep me safe and warm   
I turn to you  
For the strength to be strong  
For the will to carry on   
For everything you do  
For everything that's true  
I turn to you  
  
He seemed to crumble when I walked in. Hide like a scared child unready to face to truth before him. I was shaking. From fear and sobs. This couldn't of been my Harry. His eyes were sad and cold. This wasn't my Harry. This was someone else. This couldn't be my Harry.  
  
When I lose the will to win  
I just reach for you  
And I can reach the sky again  
I can do anything   
'Cause your love is so amazing  
'Cause your love inspires me  
And when I need a friend  
You're always on my side  
Giving me faith, taking me through the night  
  
I was happy to see her again, although I didn't show. I just said, in a voice colder than I wanted to use, "So we meet again. What do you want?" A tear fell down my cheek. I didn't bother to brush it away.  
  
For a shield from the storm  
For a friend  
For a love to keep me safe and warm   
I turn to you  
For the strength to be strong  
For the will to carry on   
For everything you do  
For everything that's true  
I turn to you  
  
I couldn't beleive he said that. It was like someone had thrown peices of shattered glass and cut me into piecies. My world went spiralling down. And then it stopped. As abruptly as it started it stopped. A tear fell down his angelic face. He became my Harry again. My Harry was back.  
  
For the arms to be my shelter   
Through all the rain  
For truth that will never change  
For someone to lean on  
For a heart I can rely on through anything  
For the one who I can run to...  
  
She ran into my arms and held me. She was back. My life was back. I let go of everything. All of the tears. The sadness. It left. She brought me back. I was back. And all the badness was going to end. She was back in my arms.  
  
For a shield from the storm  
For a friend  
For a love to keep me safe and warm   
I turn to you  
For the strength to be strong  
For the will to carry on   
For everything you do  
For everything that's true  
I turn to you   
  
I ran into his arms and held him. I wiped away his tears. I let my own fall. He was back. My life was back. I let go of everything. All of the tears. The sadness. It left. He came back. He was back. And all the badness was going to end. He was back in my arms.  
  
  
"Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, and trusting them not to."- Anymous 


	5. Regret5: Epilogue

Disclaimer: Jessica Simpson owns the song. JK owns the characters.  
  
Regret5: Epilogue  
By shana  
  
  
You set my soul at ease.   
Chased darkness out of view.   
Left your desperate spell on me.   
Say you feel it too I know you do.   
I've got so much more to give.   
This can't die, I yearn to live.   
Pour yourself all over me.   
And I'll cherish every drop here on my knees .   
  
She was back in my arms and the madness stopped. It ended. I was Harry again. I could love again. She was back. And I was too.   
  
I wanna love you forever  
And this is all I'm asking of you  
10,000 lifetimes together  
Is that so much for you to do  
Cuz from the moment that I saw your face  
and felt the fire of your sweet embrace  
I swear I knew  
I wanna love you forever.   
  
He came back. He was the boy I knew again. I don't think I realized how much I missed him until now. And now I cherished every second I had with him. Because he was back.   
  
My mind fails to understand,  
What my heart tells me to do.  
And I'd give up all I have just to be with you  
And that would do  
I've always been taught to win  
And I never thought I'd fail  
Be at the mercy of a man,   
I've never been  
Now I only want to be right where you are.  
  
I don't think I could be happier. I have yet to forgive myself. I'm going to turn myself in. Apologize for all that I've done. I've never felt better. My head is clear. My mind, blank. And colors of gold and silver swirl around me.   
  
In my life I've learned that heaven never waits  
Let's take this now before it's gone  
like yesterday  
Cuz when I'm with you there's nowhere else  
That I would ever wanna be,   
no  
I'm breathing for the next second I can feel you  
Loving me.  
I'm gonna Love  
  
I'm happy he's back. I'm happy he's so happy. I haven't seen him this happy since our 6th year and everything went right with him. I'm glad he's happy. I am too.   
  
  



End file.
